I've determined that there are three websites that I can't live without (plus Suburban Horror of course). First, my email account - ever since I was a kid, I would compulsively check my mailbox in hopes that someone would write to me; it's the same scenario for checking e-mail. Then, I'll check my Facebook, which ultimately is my primary tool in stalking the people I love to hate and hate to love without having to leave my room.

Finally, and probably the most disturbing part of the trio, is PerezHilton.com. Interestingly enough, I've never wanted to be a celebrity. I don't mean becoming famous for something that you are talented in - I went through the phase where I wanted to be an Oscar winning actress, and then I realized that I'm mediocre at best when it comes to acting, the only dance moves I've successfully mastered is the pelvic thrust and the booty shake and a cat in heat sounds like an opera singer compared my vocal prowess. I mean, I never wanted to become someone who was famous for... being famous, like so many people these days. I never wanted fame if it came at the price of not wearing underwear and then flashing someone as I sluttily crawled out of a car, nor did I want to be infamous for being rich and spending my money left and right on my dog. I never wanted to be the person who was on that one reality tv show or who slept with that one really famous guy.

But, that hasn't stopped the fact that I am a loyal devotee to the Queen of All Media. Not that I always agree with what he says - that crack on Seal's kid looking horrendous even though he has a supermodel mother is WAY below the belt - but I have to admit, looking at these celebrities in their un-finest hour definitely appeals to me. As much as I hate celebrities and think they brought it upon themselves, sometimes they deserve their privacy too. I mean, you too would crack like Britney if every moment of your life was scrutinized by the public eye? It also angers me that more people check Perez’s site than checking the news and actually learning about things that do matter. Most kids these days can’t tell you anything about current world politics, but they can tell you about which celebrities are dating.

But, despite thinking this way, I have to admit I still get star struck when I run into a celebrity, especially someone I idolize. For example, I was watching Grindhouse when my friend Jim, who had just taken a bathroom break, whispered to me that Quentin Tarantino just went to the bathroom. Did I just say, "Oh that's nice," and continue watching the movie? No. Did I turn my head to look at the man who I consider one of the most brilliant storytellers of our modern age? Not even that. Instead, I literally jumped out of my seat, stepping on many toes as I proceeded to run to the men's restroom. And then upon realizing that I couldn't enter the MEN'S RESTROOM (and plus, how creepy would it be if you were peeing in a urinal and a girl walks in and tried to hug you?), I stalked him from downstairs.

Luckily, a male security guard was waiting for him too, and he kept me updated with his frequent checking on the situation with Tarantino in the bathroom (HE OPENED A DOOR! HE'S WASHING HIS HANDS!) Then after what seemed like forever, Tarantino decended from the stairs like a God from the heavens. Okay, I lied, it wasn't as poetic as that, he actually was checking his text messages and was awkwardly running so he wouldn't miss most of his movie. It was at this point that I approched the man I considered my idol, and I think out of my mouth spewed the words, "I've already seen Grindhouse at a screening, so I'm not missing anything. Will you sign my ticket stub?" - as if i had to explain why I was missing any part of his movie. (Ironically, I had written a review of Death Proof, and I gave it less than glowing reviews. In spite of that, I kept saying, "I love your movies!") He was cool and gracious about it, signed my ticket stub, thanked me for my loyalty and hurried away to answer what seemed like an important phone call, taking my Sharpie cap with him. (Don't worry, he realized his mistake and apologized for stealing my pen cap. Instead of saying, "No problem!" I kept saying, "I love your movies!" like an idiotic robot.)

I was so star struck that I didn't even get to ask him the question that I was dying to ask him: what was in the suitcase in Pulp Fiction? - even though, I knew he was not going to tell. I didn't get to shake his hand or even ask him any question of worth. Instead, I responded to him the way that any other person who kind of knew who he was would respond, instead of validating my point that I actually was a huge fan. I treated one of my idols as a celebrity, not giving him privacy, and worse, I often chastised the paparazzi for doing the same. And plus, don't forget the fact that I was waiting for this guy outside a restroom, when all this poor man wanted to do was pee in peace.

So, I'm as guilty as any of the other celebrity succubines that I hate. As much as I hate how people spend so much time studying celebrities instead of studying things that matter, I have to admit I’m one of them. But when we live in a society that teaches us that we need to stand out from the rest, no matter how ridiculous the means is, is it really strange that I interact with "famous" people the way that I do? Is it weird that when in a situation with someone I idolize, I treat them just like I would treat a "celebrity"? Is it weird that I spend time on sites or stalking the stars that I could have been spending on something worthwhile and meaningful? Sadly, as much as I hate the fakeness and desperation of it all, in the end, I'm like all the rest - I'll take my brush with fame any way I can take it.