Trend Setting Music Mafia

Read on non-registered voters, all you members of the "AIM" generation. The people who sit frozen on couches in their living rooms and basements waiting for somebody who "Matters" to come along and tell them what's cool, hip, correct, RIGHT FOR THEM TO LIKE. The hit lists on MTV2, the ads in Rolling Stone, the counter people at Hot Topic, or any form of trendy media who obliviously parade around as the biggest conformists of all. The same people with their noses snubbed at a perpetual 45-degree angle above you, wearing their Pitchfork-sanctioned apparel. Never knowing they're as bad as any walking Abercrombie ad or white kid co-opting black culture. Buncha garden variety hypocrites, wanting to be different like everybody else, if you ask me.

Worst part? A select group of these people ultimately decide what's cool to get out to us TV baseheads of America. Almost assuredly you've come across these people on public transit or that jerk in your English Lit 101 class. You might've even met one of the members; possibly even thought he was every bit as douchey as the worst prick you ever met. Just keep in mind there's a new cultural Mafia, and that s/he might be a functioning member. Make no mistake though, this Mafia exists; it lays in every trend-researching/setting record label A&R guy; every fashion mogul in cahoots with GQ; and anyone with a substantial wad of money and lots of free time.

And they're not about to go away, so if you ever cared about the Beatles, Radiohead, Sonic Youth, Velvet Underground, Frank Zappa, on and on and on, or anyone/anything truly different the first time you heard it, then never doubt what you're doing cause it doesn't sound like The Killers. Money can be made for the truly original. Even if it doesn't, well, paydays & tabloid fame shouldn't drive you either. If rock star careerism is what you're looking for, then go form a Wings cover band, fucker. The rush's all in the caveman ethic- scribbling on stone and showing somebody. That's all you need. If money comes, it comes. But if you let it decide whether you create something or not, then well, don't- good riddance. You don't deserve anything. Marketable products aren't everything.

Even though we're trained as kids to think that. The thought that if we can't recreate art like we see on TV, than it isn't good enough. We're mocked by peers for being "Dorks" if we use our brains. We're ridiculed for being a little different, so we straighten right out. And that's all due to our parents. The post-Depression era kids told us it's bad to be original; self-expression's ok as long as it's clean. (thus why we see our ratings systems- which ironically are in place to protect our kids, but instead make us children cause we can't bare the sight of an exposed tit...right before we have sex with our girlfriends/wives/mistresses). So watch what yer saying round this bunch.

That's a side thought, though- even if it's how these trendy chud babies were spawned. Oh no! you're absolutely forbidden to say that! Fuck what you think. Better yet, don't even think at all! It's not hip to think- although it is hip to have opinions (Fuck George Bush!). Ya, if you didn't know (hope that rock you're living under has central heating), you've gotta hate George Bush. Them's the rules.

See, because predictability is the staple of this subculture: we gotta know where we all stand at all times. Let's be honest, most of these people are so boring and predictable, that you can Google Search their viewpoints thru next year. (i.e. Trendy ideologies, Whatever Jon Stewart says, Pitchfork Media, etc.)

Along with this rigid conformity to the hip cultural norm, this small group of elitists has created an army of people stricken with the "Posture Syndrome." Symptoms of this disorder include incessant name dropping, condescension, and repeated use of unnecessary academic language. If you fail to make a profile in this scene and/or get silenced with the "dumb" tag every time you open your mouth by the ordered the rank and file "intelligensia"- ya gotta realize how basically dumb most of those people shutting you out actually are. They're just trying to look cool and get laid like everyone else (sex is the underlying motivation for everything, right?). There's no higher purpose here- even if you'd buy that shit.

So look around you, and keep an eye out for this guy and next time you see him, consider that you could've been sucked into this soulless identity void; living out your days with the same contrived scenes and conversations/namedrop contests you've been rehearsing with such repetition in front of your bedroom mirrors.