(Webmaster's Note: This is not a column written by Nick Olds, this was a Mew cd review written by Nick, that I found so compelling I am now posting as a column.)

Before I get into telling you what you to think, I gotta get something off my chest: I downloaded this album before it came out. It's been in heavy rotation on my Windows Media Player for months (I don't even own an IPod, dude... I can't afford one L]. So when this album popped into the promo CD sweepstakes, I grabbed it immediately. But I gotta warn you, I'm about to get totally biased. So if you're looking for objective opinions, well, nobody's objective anymore, asshole! I'm sorry. I just choked on my spit for a second and couldn't breathe and got mad. Anyway, I loved this album...and here's why!

And the Glass Handed Kites is amazing. It's a 53-minute experience. Probably the most exciting album I've heard since (Radiohead's) Kid A. You gotta hear the whole thing, though. It's one of those rare instances where the CD as a whole is more interesting than it's singles. And don't misread that either- there's probably a single or two that could make somebody's "New Band to Watch" list, but it'll never do anything. With the way the album's set up (songs all flow into each other), it'd be tough prying one song away from its album family.

But, if I need to list some highlights-oh I DON'T KNOW- Chinaberry Tree, Fox Club, Apocalypso, Special, and Zookeeper's Boy are the ones I keep coming back for. The harmonies are epic and the sonic guitars remind you of My Bloody Valentine, Muse, and Radiohead. It's like listening to a dream or an epic about a fallen hero or something. It just feels like you’re hearing this on a different level than you're typical mp3 throwaway.

That's why I think it has an appeal for everybody- from the college downloader to the conservatory snob. It's sort of a life soundtrack- one of those cathartic music experiences you'll hear in your head when you're driving away from that fight with your girlfriend or after getting that new job. The kind of album you listen to by yourself in your room. Just bug out with the black light and the swirly designs on the Media Player. Total escapism.

That's ultimately why I liked it. Escapism's (or anything that'll grab your attention for more than 3 minutes) totally against what's out right now. And what a bold move to put out a debut like this. Even Radiohead released "Creep" on their first album. This though, this is a fully-formed musical dream. Even if you never know what lead singer Jonas Bjerre's singing.

Now, with that said, let's get to what's important: Genre. If pressed with a gun at the crotch to genre-fy Mew, they'd have to be "Prog" [Translation: "Progressive Rock", or songs made longer than they should be (10-30 minutes) by extended improvisational "jams"]. Fact, they've been so Prog-pigeonholed, that even key-man Rick Wakeman from the legendary (or infamous) Prog band, Yes, said "These guys can really play." So Mew's been adopted by the Prog-mused community. Who cares? The title shouldn't scare you away. Just like when something's "sci-fi"- it doesn't always mean it's about starship fleets and million-dollar make-up aliens. But that's a whole other review. You want recommendations. So, without further delay...

Essential listening for everyone. And based on my own rating system (gave Les Georges Leningrad a 9) I'm giving this a 10. Not that I give a shit about the numbers system, but I know as well as you that if there's an number rating in a review, I'm gonna read it and probably put more effort into buying (downloading) the album if it's good. Because a lotta times, reviewers don't wanna or can't effectively draw the line in the sand on whether they like it or not, so a numbers system helps us out. You'll see things like, "a startling flurry of arpeggio guitar solos and-" Wait, what? What's this asshole talking about? Do they like it or not? Whatta they like about it? Are they recommending it? Should I buy it? Should I spend my coffeehouse waiter tips on it?

No.

You shouldn't buy any album- download them ILLEGALLY, because the band sees about a nickel of the profits off this album. The rest of the money feeds the mouths of record execs that market your fave band as products to be packaged, bought, and sold. So if you really want my opinion on what to do- see them live when they come around your city. They keep all the money they earn touring. And if you really wanna support a band these days, that's the way to do it (and no, the band doesn't see "merch" sales, either. Just look at the South Park guys- they make 2 percent off all merchandise sold. Which basically means that they don't own the show. Comedy Central does. These guys just make it for them. And that's exactly how it works in the music biz, too. You sign away your rights to a record label, you get your lyrics bought by a publishing company (to protect copyright), and you get paid a salary with a percentage of tips. But (gasp), if you stop making hits- you're out baby).

And that's a Street Smart Solid. Word.