Part I: The Introduction...

SuburbanHorror: Justin?
Justin: Hey, what's up? Sorry, I'll be back in a minute.
SH: Don't apologize.  It'll only lead to our next argument.
JR: Ok, back.  Had to do something, I'm at work.
SH: By work, do you mean writing songs?
JR: Haha no, stuff that actually pays the bills.
SH: You can't live off your music, huh?  Ya know Fat Greggy & The Panda used to not make money off their music too.  Then they started actually making music.
JR: Ya, they're pretty awesome.
SH: Couldn't say it better.  But whattya do for work?
JR: Assistant for this lady.  I run her errands.  I also help my dad with his plumbing company.
SH: Sounds awesome.
JR: Pretty much.  I'm fine with not getting the big bucks.  Just enough to live on.
SH: Ya, big bucks aren't all they're cracked out to be.  It's hard dragging their carcasses around.  They're really heavy.  But hey, it's the only way to get laid in northern Michigan, right?  Anyway, here come the questions.
JR: Here we go...

Band Names...

SH: Stick to your guns: philosophy or title?
JR: Uhhh a little of both.  It fits us.
SH: What would you have gone with?
JR: Original band names are tough.  I don't know, something with a fictional animal.  But who cares, good music's good music.
SH: Fictional animal.  Wise choice.
JR: Hey, I forgot to ask you your name.
SH: Nick.  You a cop?
JR: No, just wanna know.
SH: Case you wanna track me down.
JR: And stare in your window at night.
SH: There's only so many bushes, my friend.
JR: You're popular, huh?
SH: Hey, 12 fat chicks and a confused latin boy can't be wrong.
JR: True.

Band Info...

SH: Next question.  Whattya want people to know about your band?
JR: Wow, I was really hoping for some easy ones first.
SH: Just answer the question, Justin.  What're you afraid of???
JR: You're killing me, Nick!
SH: This is exhilarating.
JR: Prepare to be dissappointed.
SH: Lemme just brace myself.  Hmmmmm...
JR: When you find something you love, you realize the beauty of it and appreciate it for however long it lasts.
SH: Aaaah, wow.  Just got kinda real in here.
JR: Ha, ya I've been reading T.S. Eliot.
SH: Was that the guy from "Get A Life"? (a hur hur, that's a joke, intellectuals.  So you can shush your inner monologues).
JR: Not really.  Hey, can we do favorite color next?
SH: I'll ask the questions here, man.  Now...what's your favorite color?
JR: Brown.  Next.
SH: What's the color of your true love's hair?
JR: Niiiice.  You're good, Nick.
SH: I dated a black girl once (Vanessa Johnson to be exact.  Just in case she's Googling herself).  Ok, what's your favorite song that you listen to alone and won't tell anyone about?
JR: Coldplay:  "Don't Panic"
SH: Wow, aren't you in a metal band?
JR: Parachutes is probably top 1 or 2 on my list.  But I need to say this: I tried this new soap in the shower and it didn't make my skin super dry.  Just thought I'd point that out.
SH: What is it?
JR: Some woman's body wash.  Let's delete this from the interview.
SH: Ok. (Justin must not know how we do things here)

_________________________________________________________

Part II:
Songs Explanations...

SH: Next question.  You mention in the explanation of the song Industry and Infamy, that "The music industry has gone down hill and has been ever since the mid 80's."  Do you mean the record labels or the artists in general?
JR: Well, with the beginning of music videos and MTV, music's become more of a gimmick and sales tactic than having meaning or substance.  Not to say that MTV is the ultimate evil, or that music videos ruin music.  It's just that from our perspective there seems to be a lot of music out there that's more focused on the money-making than for what they're saying.
SH: I agree, in the sense that the music video's become the home shopping network for record companies.
[NOTE: But, no offense, it seems like hardcore bands always think of themselves as different than other pop stars.  But you're playing a style of music that makes money, too.  Granted, it's not as popular as Justin Timberlake, but there's still a big market for hardcore bands.  Which is why so many of them sound alike.]
JR: It's a touchy subject.
SH: I can imagine.  Ok, another song question: Fashion of Fascist, did you have somebody in mind for that?
JR: Not necessarily, what sort of inspired that was Jesse (singer) wearing a Dave Matthews t-shirt at Hellfest and some girl coming up to him and saying something along the lines of "What the fuck are you doing here with that shirt?"  I laughed when he told me that. It's just that mentality within the hardcore scene that's so stupid. To some that show up to a hardcore show, if you're not wearing cargo shorts and a Trial t-shirt, you don't know what hardcore is.  Or if you're hair isn't flat ironed or your jeans aren't glued to your balls, then you're a stupid jock.  It's like what the fuck, ya know?
SH: I hear ya, man.  That's a distinctly American thing: we're so quick to judge people on their hair, fashion, and music.

Getting Signed...

SH: Next question: how'd you get signed to Sumerian Records?
JR: Our booking agent, Ash, runs Sumerian with a couple other guys and after our tour with Too Pure To Die and The Burning Season last year, he  asked us if we wanted to re-release our full length and get some distribution for it.
SH: They re-released the CD, huh?  What happened the first time around?
JR: A label that didn't have distribution.  Nice people, just not able to help us get to the next level.  So instead of wasting a perfectly fine release with 14 tracks, we went with Sumerian to help establish us as a real band that wants to do this full time.
SH: Mmm.  Ok, last song-related question.
JR: Move!
SH: Oh my god I'm so nervous.  This is like the time I lost my virginity.  *Sigh*.  I can still feel his beard…

Music Downloading...

SH: Anyway, important question: what are your thoughts on music downloading?
JR: It's a tough debate for me since I've been on both sides, and I think it's changed my point of view a lot. Personally, I don't download music, because I know what it's like to spend all your time and energy writing an album.  It sucks if some kid doesn't want to spend the $10-15 to support you.But at the same time, for up-and-coming bands like us, it may be what gets your name out there to kids that otherwise might not hear it.  So it's good for that. I'll just say to anyone reading this: if you love a band, support them. Because so many bands out there doing an awesome thing and the best way you can keep them alive is by buying their album and supporting them.
SH: Hmm.
[NOTE: But see, if I like your music, why should I be obligated to support your career?  Isn't it your responsibility for what happens to you?  I mean, I understand that you don't get paid if ya don't sell records, but then, you got into a profession where there's no guaranteed paychecks.  And I say profession, cause like I said earlier, you're playing a style of music that's proven to make money. Speaking for myself here, I write this shit cause it's something I like doing.  I wanna get paid, but I don't feel like I deserve to be paid just for entertaining them or inspiring them.  If somebody decides to pay me, I'll take the money. But on the flip side, when you get money, people can dictate what you do.  And if people dictate what you do, you're no longer an artist: you're somebody's product.  And ya know something else- the best way you can "keep alive", is by continuing to evolve as an artist.]

The Tough Questions...

SH: Ok, here comes the shit storm!  If you got paid the same amount, would you rather be loved by 10 people, or kind of liked by 100?
JR: Loved by 10. 10 kids singing every word, opposed to 100 standing with their arms folded wins anytime.
SH: Ok, besides you guys, what's the best thing to come out of your hometown?
JR: Ha!  The OC, Laguna Beach, The Hills, take your pick.
SH: Some guys have all the luck.
JR: Haha, it sucks.  I love where we live, but that stuff makes me want to vomit.
SH: ...
JR: You're a fan?
SH: Let's just agree to disagree.  Next question: if you wrote the best song ever, what would you call it?
JR: Poopasarous Frankenfurter.
SH: You'll be hearing from my lawyers.  That's definitely a Fat Greggy & The Panda song.
JR: Damn. It's my girlfriend's nickname.
SH: I'm just gonna use my imagination on how she got it.
JR: She made it up herself.  She's crazy.  That's why I love her.
SH: I made up my nickname, too.  I call myself Easy Lover, after that Phil Collins song.  Actually wait- my dad gave me that name.  Oh well.  Last question: if I were making a TV show about me and my dog solving crimes on the weekends, what song of yours would you pick for our theme song?
JR: "This Is More", just cause that's the only song everyone knows.
SH: I've never heard it.  Does that mean I'm old?
JR: Yes.
SH: Shit, I try hard to stay young and hip, too.  I'm talking to kids on the internet all the time.

*as seen on SuburbanHorror.com

-Nick Olds