An idea for the ages... The other day, I had this idea to transmit my thoughts directly to my computer, so I went to Sharper Image and bought a Neuro-translator machine. It's sort of like a Polygraph, but you stick a patch on your head and it hooks up to my laptop- typing out everything I think of. So for this review, I stuck it on my forehead, cause that's where I'm gonna be thinking about Big A little a. Get it?

(I also found out that if you stick the patch on different parts of your head, it'll find all kindsa stuff you think about. Like I put the patch on the top of my head and found my "Spank Bank". Ya know, the spot where you keep all your sex memories to masturbate to. It was awesome. It started typing out all the names of chicks I'd smashed to. Apparently I was big into Teri Hatcher at 13.) Ok, so here we go. Everything I'll be thinking about while listening to Big A little a's GaaME: unedited, straight from my brain to your computer...

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...One of the funniest things I've ever seen was when Phil Collins did VH1 Storytellers and had to explain Sussudio. "Aww, it was like, I fell in love with, like, this robot named Sussudio. And it, like, drove me wiiild. And, like, the label needed a single."

The point is: sometimes words aren't needed. I've said it before [Citizen Cope review]. Big A little a don't use lyrics. Don't need em. Some guy just yells into megaphones.

...Big A little a is proof that a band playing complex shit can get signed. You can "make it" being different. And ya know, why does pop music need to be bland? If everybody just starts playing the music they wanna play, the labels won't have a choice. They gotta sign somebody. We just need to evolve as people and artists (which we all are, and make no mistake about that).

...CDBaby.com says that a problem most bands have is that they don't see themselves as "products". Well, I'd say that's exactly the fucking problem [The Killers, I'm staring in your direction..."Brandon Flowers, this next CD's gotta be serious. We're going for credibility this time. So, you gotta grow a beard," said the record executive. "But, but" replied Brandon weakly. "But NOTHING!" screamed the executive.]. Which is why a CD like Big A little a's essential. We need to know there's something else out there.

...New favorite band. But I won't recommend it. Last time I did that, Les Georges Leningrad gotta 9 and my friend called me an asshole. So I said, "Why are you trusting me? I mean, didn't I convince you to bang that girl with herpes cause she looked like a porn star?" (I'm sorry, I'm told "adult film model" is the proper term. Ya, ok. So tell me, model: how's semen being worn in adult films this year? What's the new trend? Is the "tangled-in-the-hair" look still in?)................

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...Big A little are a soggy muffin mixed with Ambience, Electronica, Tribal, and Deconstructive Post-Modernism (so Jazz, basically). And your ears are the losers. Snack time!

...The band consists of a free-form synth/xylophone player, 2 drummers (one bass/ one bucket), and a guy yelling in a megaphone. But it actually sounds like the CD's made by a music student, a lunatic, and 2 African tribesmen. This sentence alone reminds me that Rock is still the only all-inclusive style of modern music.

...It's not an easy listen. There're no hooks. So no song'll get stuck in your head. It's a total assault on the musical tastes you've put together for 22, 23, 24 years. I suggest being on a substance. Ya gotta be in an altered state of consciousness to appreciate it.

...I think it's amazing that people can think up dozens of ways to describe shitting their pants when they meant to fart (i.e. "gambled and lost", "Hershey squirts", whatever) but they can't think of better ways to describe the music they're listening to without using genres or readymade terms like "alternative" or post-punk".

...I wonder if homeless guys rehearse the way they ask for change? Like a bum practicing his lines in front of a puddle (cause puddles are mirrors to a bum)..................

...Track 4, Good Ship's a beautiful synthesizer (sounds like "wooo, woo wooooo", kinda reminds me of the original Tecmo Bowl theme song. But here it sounds galactic) being played over 2 drummers smashing on cymbals. Amazing mix of beauty and destruction. Big A little a's hallmark effect, and what'll definitely be an influence on others. ...Track 8, Walk Again's a shattered masterpiece. It sounds like a colorful pane of glass was shattered and left in the ground, leaving only beautiful fragments surrounded by dirt.

And the best part? They unfleshed the song to something great. I'd have been content if the song'd continued how it started (with the synth going nuts while the drums play quieter than a gay guy's fart.......).

...The synthesizers add a whole cosmic dimension to every song. It's as if the band, as eclectic/ primal (primate?) as they sound, is playing very detailed notes. It must've taken amazing precision to play this. To sound this distorted in an art form. That's the genius here: Controlled chaos. ...Somebody told me the other day that "all they wanna do is write." No, you mean you wanna get PAID to write. There's nothing to writing. You just need ideas. Anybody can jot stuff down. Writing's fucking easy. Fact, the only reason any of us do it's so we have proof that we said something. Cause, Ha!, believe me, if my anti-environmental metal band "Whale Skin Suit" paid the bills, I wouldn't fuckin' be here talking to you...

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...What Big A little a did was make a masterstroke of perfect pitch, ambience, and percussion. Then smashed it to bits. Creating a kaleidoscope of beauty and destruction. A broken masterpiece.

...I'd describe the CD as this: picture a new Ferrari with all the fix-ins, smashing a truck and flying into a ditch. The car's banged up, but you can still see the craftsmanship. You can see the work that was put into making it. But if it hadn't crashed, there'd be nothing special about it. It'd just be another nice car.

...This music is meant to unleash the primal self that's repressed by your 9-5 worker bee persona.

...I think the reason I'm a sucker for adventurous music is that they're never gonna make money. Which makes them, solely in the industry sense, losers. And that's it: I've always been attracted and attractive to losers. I used to think there was something wrong with me, that I was destined to be friends with the head-gear kid. But as I've gotten older, I realized I gravitated toward the losers cause they're just more interesting.

...If the theory holds true, that if you present something as hip, people'll believe you: Then I'd like to say that Big A little a are the next Kings Of Leon/ Arcade Fire/ Klaxons/ The band who's currently playing on the new IPod commercial.

...Ya know what the FUCKIN' problem with Trail Mix is? They load it up with raisins. Throw some goddamn dates and banana chips in there, will ya?? Fuckin' people, ya know?..........